That Damn Ice Cream Truck

Today's blog comes as a direct request from my darling dearest, aka my editing department, aka Richy. His request came to me in his usual gentle manner. He said,  and I quote, “Why don't you write about that damn ice-cream truck on your blog? Since he asked so nicely, I thought, maybe I’d oblige him. So, here we go.

That Damned Ice Cream Truck-

Richy moved into the apartment we now share about two years ago. He moved in about March and the sounds of the neighborhood sang through his ears as he hauled his belongings up the stairs to the loft apartment. Suddenly, in the distance, he heard the familiar tinny music of an ice-cream truck driving through the neighborhood. He listened as it dinged its mechanical version of “Pop-Goes-The-Weasel” along the streets North of the house. Perfect! Enough time to run in and grab some change. He waited in the yard as The Weasel finished Popping its run and now “Mary Had A Little Lamb” chimed its way closer, oh so closer to the street.

Then, as if by magic, it was no longer north of the apartment, it was now south of the apartment. No longer was his delicious cold treat coming towards him, it was now taunting him from the street behind his current location. What fresh Hell was this? He had been so patient and all for nothing, the Ice-Cream Man had completely forgotten to come down his street.

Not willing to take this sort of injustice lying down, this 48 year old man ran through the backyard, hopped a fence, ran through his neighbors back yard and sprinted two blocks to chase down this Damned Ice-Cream Truck. All for an orange cream push-up popsicle. He was 48. Fortunately, the small children that he plowed down in order to get his elusive creamsicle, all blacked out as they hit the pavement, so no one can give the police an accurate description of the 6 foot 2 inch German lunatic running cross country, screaming at an ice-cream truck.

It turns out, the ice-cream truck really, truly…literally does not, will not come down our street... for whatever reason. This is the ONLY street in the whole neighborhood it doesn't come down. Richy finds this highly unfair and regularly uses colorful language whenever that ding-dong music starts playing “Old MacDonald”. Today, as he saw it pass on the street behind us, he cocked an imaginary gun and did a little pretend target practice, on That Damned-Ice-cream Truck.

I don't know which Congressman I have to write, or what federal authority I can get on this, but please, if anyone has any connections, let me know how I go about changing an ice-cream truck route. We find this exclusionary, and personally, I am not going to rest until my dearest darling can have a Rocket-sicle every day of the week if he wants.

According to a good five minute Google search, I found at least three sources that say it takes about 50 licks to finish an ice-cream cone. I say those people haven't reached their full potential. 

The Twilight Zone or The Fugue State

You are now entering the fugue state..

I got a kidney stone along with a UTI. The laughs never stop around here. I went to the doctor and she was very helpful and nice and gave me some sort of antibiotic from hell called Alvogen and a narcotic pain- killer for my kidney.  I remember leaving the doctors office and filling both prescriptions at the pharmacy, and I remember coming home and taking both pills. That's where my stream of consciousness ends for the last few days.

My friend was at my house and I was telling her a very funny story about a conversation I overheard while at the pharmacy. We laughed because I am a very funny person. I mentioned to her that I felt ridiculously tired. She asked if I had taken any new medication. I told her I had the painkillers but I hadn’t taken any that day nor the day before and other than that, the antibiotic was the only other new medicine I had taken. She told me some antibiotics can make a person sleepy. I had never heard of such a thing, but to humor her, I grabbed the bottle and read the warning label on the side. “May Cause Drowsiness: Use Care When Operating A Car or Dangerous Machinery”.                               You don’t say!

Seriously, I have never been this groggy, this sedated in my life. I mean I have a lot of health problems and am frequently on medication, even strong pain medication. But the pain- killer I was prescribed was only 5mg and as bad as it sounds, I have a tolerance to much stronger pain medication than that. Even if I hadn't taken the narcotic along with this stuporous antibiotic, I still wouldn't have considered the pain medicine as the source of my extreme lethargy. So, whatever was in this antibiotic it was strong enough to fell a horse. I am losing hours, dare I say days, to this damn medication. So for the next few days I will probably be out of commission. Just another typical day in the fugue state.

I have lost touch with friends and family. It's been nearly twenty-four hours since I was on Facebook. I have slept an entire day away while my editing department was sweetly buying and setting up a Valentines day surprise for me. My dog no longer recognizes me. I would try to do something about all of this, but honestly, I need a nap.

Oh, the funny story: While at the pharmacy, I was at the photo kiosk printing some pictures. The soda coolers are right next to this kiosk and a young man came in and looked through the soda selections for a minute before beeping on his walkie-talkie device. He called an unseen buddy and told him that there was no root beer and no cherry coke, so what did he want. The gentleman on the other end, without missing a beat replied “I WANT answers. I want to know WHY I cant have a root beer or a cherry coke. I WANT to know why they don't have these things.”

Now for a nap and once again, thank you for visiting the fugue state!

To Good Dogs Everywhere

Today was a sad day in the Ward\Ledford household. We buried someone’s dog.

While Richy and a friend of ours were out going to the pharmacy today, they ran upon a small dog, a terrier breed possibly, running around in a bank parking lot and getting dangerously close to the main road. The two of them tried for what seemed like forever trying to get the little dog to come to them. They fed it bits of chicken sandwich and tantalized it with anything they could think of, all to no avail. Eventually they had to give up and carry on mainly because their efforts were scaring the little girl closer to a dangerous thoroughfare.

A small time later, as they finished shopping at the nearby Dollar Tree and pulled out onto the busy road, they spotted what Richy hoped was a trash bag lying on the pavement. He asked my friend to pull over quickly, knowing that this was no garbage bag, but in fact, was the little dog they had tried to save just a short time ago.

Two other people pulled over to help by this time. One, a nurse, checked for the dog’s pulse, but it was only faint. Richy held the sweet little girl puppy in his arms as she bled and her heart beat its last three beats. She died in his arms.

The man who hit her sped off after hitting her. He didn't even check to see if she was hurt.

Richy couldn't just leave her there on the side of the road. He told the ladies that stopped that he would bring her home and bury her. They put her in a crate and Richy drove her to our home.

Richy dug a deep grave while I wrapped the little body of the dog, who we affectionately named Zero. We lined the grave with mulch and laid Zero, wrapped warm in her towel in her final resting place. We laid some Blue Juniper evergreen over her and and we returned her to the earth. We placed a large stone marking her grave and we planted some Creeping Sedum, Tiger Lily bulbs and Daffodils in the soil covering her.  As long as we live here, she will always have flowers on her grave.

So, here's to all the dogs. Thank you loyal friends for all of the puppy kisses and cold, wet noses. You, our best friends, our fur kids, our babies, deserve treats everyday for putting up with us flawed humans. Our species does not deserve your species’ love and affection. Yours is truly an unconditional love that humans just cannot replicate. And even when humans are unbelievably cruel to you, you forgive. Zero, this is for you buddy. I'm sorry your life was cut so short. It seems that you probably had a nice life, and I hope you did. You will be missed.