Holiday Blues

Can we talk about the crash after the holidays? It’s so depressing. There’s the long build up to Christmas and then in one day the gifts are opened, the family is seen, and the food is eaten and put away. Then suddenly the loved ones have gone back home, the bad gifts are buried in the backyard and the even the leftovers have vanished from the fridge. Nothing is left to do but to plummet into a wet, cold depression. I, for example, have spent the month drinking because my daughter went back home, five hours away from me, and I am refusing to cope in a healthy manner. I think I miss my children more than anything. My son lives about half an hour from me, and I get to see him pretty often. But every year, my daughter leaves and I sink into a long depression involving crying during Queer Eye binges and overeating. 

I’m not sure who started the winter holidays, but I get why they did it. And no, I’m not interested in the Reason for the Season PR. I mean, someone came up with the thought “let’s do something celebratory in the middle of winter to break up the monotony”. I can appreciate that. I really can. I just wish I could make it last until the birds start to sing and the redbud trees bloom. Can you imagine if we had to go from November until Easter or spring with nothing to bring some kind of color, joy or fun to us? I am just so glad that along the way, somebody said, “let’s throw in a couple of celebrations. We can celebrate a new year, and what else? Oh! Let’s have another celebration, we’ll call it Christmas.” That was just a damn good idea!

One thing I am doing to occupy my time during this soggy, cold season is making bread. Technically, I am cheating; I’m making it in my new bread machine that Richy gave me for Christmas. I get so happy using it! I love adding the ingredients and watching it do it’s thing while mixing. For whatever reason, they didn’t add a light to the inside, so I keep a little flashlight by it so I can peek into it and watch the dough. Oh, and the smell is gorgeous!  As it rises and cooks the loaf, the scent of freshly baked bread permeates through the house and it feels like a Panera Bread has opened up in my kitchen. This new hobby of mine has made me very joyous and content in many ways, however, it hasn’t exactly curbed the overeating. No, I have to say having warm, freshly baked bread at my fingertips every day of the world has certainly not done anything to slow my eating down. Not that I’m complaining.

Fortunately, with the help of friends, fresh bread, and the best boyfriend in the world, I am getting past my After Christmas Blues. I am lucky to have such good people in my life and lucky to live in a world where for a little while in the winter we find a reason to celebrate and be nice to each other. I’m thankful for so much and while the crash after the holidays can be a bit of a drag, it’s helpful to know that other people might be feeling the same way. Try to reach out. Try to check on each other. And if you find something that brings you joy, then do it as often as you can. As for me, I’ll be eating bread.