Do you ever do something without really thinking it through? Just jump right in something, feet first and hope for the best? Nope, me either, I am always given to careful thought and serious planning. Pssht. Riiiiiight.
I jump along the cliffs of life and basically never look to see if I’m actually going to make it to the other side. I just start running then jump. Might land, might crash, you never know. But I will never know if I don’t try, so what the hell? WELL, what have I crashed headlong into this time? Writing!
Not this; not writing this blog - which I still intend to keep up with, as much as I keep up with it - but, another blog. A gal pal of mine came up with the idea to co-publish a blog. It was supposed to be a collection of short stories, essays, erotica, discussion pieces, and art. As it stands, there is plenty of free content posted on the blog with extra content available to customers. She asked me if I’d like to participate in adding content, and without a second thought, I said I’d love to.
I am a silly woman. What was supposed to just be a casual short story has now turned into an entire erotic series with three tiers of content. Not only do I have three versions of the same story going, I am writing essay pieces for the page, and I’m going to continue this blog, and ideally, I’ll make some art for the site.
I hadforgotten what happens when I allow myself to write. I had a couple of years, when I first started this blog as a matter of fact, where I wrote continuously, i mean non-stop. I wrote short stories novels, essays, blogs as well as research topics. Hell, I even wrote plays and haute poetry!. There would be literal days I didn’t leave my room.. I forgot what takes over me when I give myself permission to let go. I just really can’t stop. I’d forget to wash my hair, which was probably fine, as I had forgotten to comb it out anyway. I wouldn’t remember to eat until my blood sugar would crash so hard that I couldn’t see the screen in front of my eyes. Even then, I just squinted and kept typing and ate whatever I could get someone to bring me.
Yet, despite the fact that I tend to fall into a rabbit hole of words and the tapping of keys, despite the fact I look like a yeti, I am stupidly happy. I pop out of bed each morning, grab my tea and immediately head for my computer. I open it up and open my mandatory eleven tabs and get the blank document ready. I don’t know what’s going to happen when that blinking cursor starts to move, but I’m excited to get it going. It’s so much fun. It’s so satisfying to spin a story or give life to a secret fantasy. It’s thrilling to have someone discuss a serious piece with you because what you wrote truly mattered to them, or gave them something to think about. It doesn’t matter if it’s your mother, your lover, your best friend, or a stranger who wants to talk to you about it. The fact that it’s on anyone’s mind at all is extremely gratifying.
Anyway, now then, the pressure is on, but I’m so glad it is. I know I have someone counting on me to have my act together now. I’ll have deadlines and quotas to meet. Nope, I gave it not even a full day’s thought. But, you know what? I’m excited! I look forward to waking up every morning.
I know that I might end up spending twelve hours behind a screen. I know the dishes might pile up a little and maybe the bed won’t get made. I also know I can survive an entire night in a bed that was left crumpled. Even if it stayed unmade all day long, we can sleep a full night in that same bed without dying. I have come to realize, now that I am 39, that if we leave the dishes in the sink all day long, the police will not show up and drag us away. Social services will not take our children from our home (they don’t want them either), and the health department will not condemn our building. I have even left dinner dishes until morning and not once have I triggered the apocalypse.
In other words, I finally gave myself permission to get lost in my writing.
If you read this, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Please keep doing so, it tickles me. Feel free to share it or make it your guilty pleasure or dirty little secret. And please wish me luck in my new endeavor. I am also hoping to retrieve the rest of my novel soon from a broken computer. Finishing that would be a dream!
If you are interested in the blog mentioned in this post, I will put the link below. However, please be aware, there is ADULT CONTENT in various posts on this blog. If the post contains adult content it is marked as rated MA in the title. This way you will know what sort of content you are about to see. The mature content is easily avoidable, but is still available. Just a precaution.
Here is the link: https://www.patreon.com/whiskeywithwine
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