Race Against Time

Date night did not go as planned. It really is our own fault though, as we didn’t plan in advance.

Since Valentine’s day so obligingly fell on a weekday this year, Richy and I decided to hold off on romance until the weekend. On Saturday we planned to celebrate our undying love by going to a local hockey game, eating a footlong sausage on a bun, and consuming alcohol. Needless to say, we were pretty excited. Honestly, as funny as it sounds, I was excited. I have never once been to a hockey game of any kind and I am always tickled when I am practically expected to consume a hotdog.

Now, what really sold me on this hockey game idea, was the idea that it wouldn’t be crowded. Richy, who used to attend these games fairly often, assured me that we could walk up to the ticket window on the night of the game, buy a rinkside seat, right up against the glass, and see all the fun. I liked this idea. As I have gotten older, I have become snarky and less tolerant of people and crowds, so a little elbow room appealed to me as well. So now we had fun in small crowds, the possibility of brawny men pummelling each other, AND hotdogs? I was all in!

Well, Richy, being the forward thinking person he is, looked up tickets online, so we didn’t have to wait until that night to stand outside in the rain waiting for tickets. We would just buy ours online.

No. No, we wouldn’t. The tickets to this volunteer, non-professional, local hockey game had been sold out at the Civic Coliseum for two weeks. TWO WEEKS?! What the hell? I asked him what on earth could be going on to cause this thing to sell out half a month ago. Are you ready for this?

Weiner Dog Races. The ANNUAL Weiner Dog Races. During half-time, or whatever you call it in hockey, there is a weiner dog race. So now, I only had more questions. All through the night, questions kept popping into my head and I’d randomly blurt them out through our alternate date (The movie - Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindewold, and dinner). Like, do they have the dogs run on the ice? Do they slip and slide? Is it funny? Or does it hurt their little paws? Do they have little boots? What happens if a zamboni runs over a rogue poopie? And really? This is what sells every seat in the house?

After a quick Google search, here is a short list of the local Coliseum events that did not sell out: The Nutcracker, Shinedown, and Knoxville Symphony Orchestra presents: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. What did sell out? Weiner dog races at the halftime show.

So, at least now I know; if I am going to see a hockey game at the local level, I need to make sure to get my tickets in advance. That, or make sure nothing as important as weiner dog races is happening on the night I want to go.